Have you looked in the mirror lately?????

Any of you that are my Facebook friends would have seen that I went to a Redskins game with a friend the other night.  Of course I’m not sure if it is good or bad but I married a man who does not watch, like, or participate in sports.  Some of my friends would say that is a blessing however, there are times when I really wish he did just to get him out of the house.  Anyway, Puffin caught a glimpse of a recent Facebook photo of me drinking cake flavored vodka (yep, cake flavored vodka)straight out of the bottle while tailgating at the Redskins game Thursday night.  What does he say to me, “Aren’t you a little old to be acting like that?”  My reply, “have you looked in the mirror lately?”  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, and might I add, I look damn good for my age....Needless to say we are not talking at the moment however, he is looking up flavored vodka on the internet as I am typing this....LOL

The Sacrifices Children Make For Their Parents

Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely love cupcakes.  They are my favorite dessert; actually they are my favorite food ever.  Why do I love cupcakes so much?  They are the perfect size, not too big and not too small.  They are always so cute and when I eat one I don’t have the guilt like I do when I eat a giant piece of cake or a half of tray brownies (which I have been guilty of doing on more than one occasion).  I especially love red velvet cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcake.  Yes, they are that freaking awesome.  Being that I am a baseball mom I have sat at many a practices and one time actually heard other mom’s dissing on Georgetown Cupcake.  These moms were saying they wouldn’t pay $4 for a cupcake and they don’t understand what all the hype is about and that the cupcakes weren’t that good.  Now, I had words with these women because I consider myself the Anthony Bourdain of cupcakes and these are the greatest cupcakes around and they aren’t $4 a cupcake but $2.75 and if you get a dozen its $29.  And if they don’t think they are that good then they are lying to themselves because they are un-freaking-believable.  Haters!!!!!!!  Needless to say, I am not the most popular mom on the baseball team.

It just so happens that my favorite youngest son aka Boogie has unfortunate sinus and allergy issues which requires Puffin or me to take him to an allergy specialist in Bethesda, Maryland.  And being that there is a Georgetown Cupcake in Bethesda it is only natural that when we take Boogie to see his allergist we must stop and get cupcakes.  Usually, I place my order online the night before so that we do not have to wait in line when we get to the store, this works out perfect for us since I hate waiting in lines although,  I would wait in line for a cupcake from Georgetown Cupcake (think of it as waiting in line to ride Space Mountain at Disney).  It should be noted that since the beginning of the year it has been Puffin that has been carting Boogie back and forth to Bethesda.  And bless my Puffin’s heart because he would always make it a point to get me cupcakes (they freeze beautifully, in case you ever want to order any they do ship).

It just so happens that Sunday I was having a cupcake fit and not in a good way.  I really needed a cupcake, and what do you know I look in the freezer and I have 2 left, 1 lemon cupcake and 1 red velvet cupcake.  Well, Boogie came home from his BFF’s house and sees the 2 cupcakes on the counter defrosting.  He asks me why they are out of the freezer and I tell him that they are for us after dinner.  He then quickly shouts out, “I call the red velvet”, he has his mommy’s taste.  I know that he loves red velvet cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcake too, so like a good mom I say okay you can have it (I would not ever do this for anyone else other than my children because they have true appreciation for these cupcakes just like their mommy). 

After dinner Boogie goes and gets his cupcake, my darling baby boy comes back to the dinner table with the lemon cupcake.  I asked him why he didn’t take the red velvet cupcake and he said, “Mommy, that’s your favorite, you need it more than me.”  My son really does love me……..  Of course because of his good and caring heart and for leaving me the last red velvet cupcake I took him to the bookstore and bought him several new comics.  It truly makes me a proud mom to know that my boy selflessly gave up the last red velvet cupcake just to make me happy. 

Where Did They Go????

It all began last Friday night; I went out with my 2 of my 3 favorite men, Puffin (The Husband) and Boogie (My Favorite Youngest Son).  The plan:  go to dinner and catch a movie.   Puffin and I were all motivated and stuff when we got home from work Friday and thought we should keep up the momentum before we ended up lying on the couch eating 8 slices of pizza each, drinking an entire bottle of wine and falling asleep in front of the television (this is not an uncommon occurrence in my house as Puffin and I are extremely lazy and prefer to be slugs when we get home on Fridays). 

We end up going to Boogie’s favorite restaurant and then we headed over to the mall where the movie theater is located.  Realizing that we have some time to kill before the movie I decide that I need a new purse (I have a purse problem which will be a topic of discussion for another time).  Puffin agrees to the new purse because he loves me so very much and hates to see me sad.  As luck would have it I found a purse rather quickly and it was on sale and I had a 30% off coupon….I have hit the Jackpot.  After I pay for my new purse Puffin lets me know that we still have an hour until the movie.  Here is where it gets good:

Puffin:  Oh look Sweetie there is the Victoria’s Secret store

Me:  Yes, I see

Puffin:  I think we should go in

Me:  I don’t really think Boogie wants to hang in a women’s lingerie store

Puffin:  Snookie (yes, that is my nickname), so didn’t want to say anything but your bras are looking a little big on you these days

Me:  So you’re telling me that my boobs have a gotten smaller

Puffin:  Well, yes they have

At this point I am rather upset, because I have known for a few weeks now that this task needed to be done however; I was hoping to avoid this by going to my plastic surgeon and getting implants (I don’t think anyone would have noticed and nowadays it’s just like getting your hair done).   Unfortunately for me, Puffin did not approve of this idea and instead pushed me into VS to purchase new bras.  And there you have it……  I’m just wondering where my boobs went.    Life just isn’t fair and I am always the one who gets screwed.  I have lost a few pounds …….but really?????  Pamela Anderson could lose a few pounds and she still has hers (this was my reasoning to Puffin on why I should get implants).  I still want to know where they went.  Yet another reason why I should drink………

Another reason to legally change my first name.....

For those of you who do not know this, my real first name is Martha.....  And being that my mom decided to play a cruel joke on me at birth by giving me this name, I prefer to be called Marti because lets face it, I look like a Marti and not a Martha.  I will get to my theories as to why she named me Martha later. 

Now I am not bashing the name Martha, I just don't care for it as my name.  I grew up with Michelle, Jennifer, Melissa, and Stephanie being the common names.  I was picked on a lot because of my name therefore I'm a little bitter.

So, I am hanging at the doctor's office with my favorite youngest son that I call "Boogie" and because we have to wait I decide to play with my phone (which is what I tend to do when I am bored and can't pick on my husband, I also blame it on ADD).  There I am checking my Facebook account while we are waiting to be seen and what do you know I have a friend request.  "Who could this friend request be from?  Is it finally Brad Pitt wanting to be my friend", I think to myself.  And then I look at the photo of the requester and it is a very mature woman from Kansas.  The only person I know from Kansas is my age and she lives in Missouri.  I am puzzled by this request however, I do not respond.  And then I receive a message from this mature woman asking if I'm the same Martha that went to some school in Kansas with her.  Now....anyone that goes onto Facebook can see my profile photo and would know that I am not a more mature woman and that I have two kids and stud for a husband (at least he thinks so).  Being that I am nice and all I just politely sent her a message back stating, "No, I am from the East Coast".  Not what I really wanted to say but nonetheless it was not mean and it would have made Puffin proud.

Now for my theories as to why my mother named me Martha:
Theory #1:  She really wanted a boy
Theory #2:  She was drinking at the time she gave birth to me (it was the 70s after all)
Theory #3:  She wanted me to be a nun

Now, my mom swears she named me after Miss July 1973......  I still find that questionable however, after recruiting Puffin to do the research it turned out that Miss July 1973 was a Martha Smith.  Really, why couldn't she have named me after  Miss November 1973, Monica Tidwell...  I look more like a Monica.  Thanks a lot mom.  I still want to change my name....  I'm considering Monica.

Welcome to My Blog!!!!

Hello All,

Okay, so this is my very first ever post on my blog...WooHoo!!!!!  I'm very excited about this since the most that I usually ever post is on Facebook and lets face it sometimes there just isn't enough room on Facebook to get it all out.  Not to mention, that if it is going to happen, it will happen to me.  Because I am one of those people and crazy things happen to me.

For today, I would like to give a big shout out to my gal Mouthy Barber Mom at http://mouthybarbermom.blogspot.com/  .....  Thanks for everything and I love you bunches...Kisses