It all began last Friday night; I went out with my 2 of my 3 favorite men, Puffin (The Husband) and Boogie (My Favorite Youngest Son). The plan: go to dinner and catch a movie. Puffin and I were all motivated and stuff when we got home from work Friday and thought we should keep up the momentum before we ended up lying on the couch eating 8 slices of pizza each, drinking an entire bottle of wine and falling asleep in front of the television (this is not an uncommon occurrence in my house as Puffin and I are extremely lazy and prefer to be slugs when we get home on Fridays).
We end up going to Boogie’s favorite restaurant and then we headed over to the mall where the movie theater is located. Realizing that we have some time to kill before the movie I decide that I need a new purse (I have a purse problem which will be a topic of discussion for another time). Puffin agrees to the new purse because he loves me so very much and hates to see me sad. As luck would have it I found a purse rather quickly and it was on sale and I had a 30% off coupon….I have hit the Jackpot. After I pay for my new purse Puffin lets me know that we still have an hour until the movie. Here is where it gets good:
Puffin: Oh look Sweetie there is the Victoria’s Secret store
Me: Yes, I see
Puffin: I think we should go in
Me: I don’t really think Boogie wants to hang in a women’s lingerie store
Puffin: Snookie (yes, that is my nickname), so didn’t want to say anything but your bras are looking a little big on you these days
Me: So you’re telling me that my boobs have a gotten smaller
Puffin: Well, yes they have
At this point I am rather upset, because I have known for a few weeks now that this task needed to be done however; I was hoping to avoid this by going to my plastic surgeon and getting implants (I don’t think anyone would have noticed and nowadays it’s just like getting your hair done). Unfortunately for me, Puffin did not approve of this idea and instead pushed me into VS to purchase new bras. And there you have it…… I’m just wondering where my boobs went. Life just isn’t fair and I am always the one who gets screwed. I have lost a few pounds …….but really????? Pamela Anderson could lose a few pounds and she still has hers (this was my reasoning to Puffin on why I should get implants). I still want to know where they went. Yet another reason why I should drink………
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